Mike Tyson & Self-Reflection

Yes, Elizabeth Warren was on "The View" today, which is certainly worth writing about.  However, Mike Tyson was also on the show and what he had to say really resonated within me.  I don't know much about Mike Tyson, except that he is a fighter and wrote his autobiography that is on my TBR (to-be-read) list.  Oh and that one of my former college professors happened to be one of Tyson's teachers when he was in his youth.

I don't remember the professor's name at the community college I attended at the time and can't recall what course I took that she instructed.  I know it was in 1998 and the course had to do with educating children.  Anyways, what she told us one day in class stuck with me and to this day, is still in my memory.  The topic of the class that day had to deal with diversity and strategies one can implement to engage children who, for lack of a better phrase, resisted the learning experience.  The professor began telling us a story about a student and it went a little something like this (if my memory serves me correctly):  The student had simply shut-down.  The teacher had tried many methods to engage the student, spoke calmly to him...tried opening up herself first, in hopes the young man would do the same...nothing seemed to work.  The student had so much anger built up inside and would just explode when confronted with situations that caused frustration or a sense of failure.  The student was Mike Tyson.  And the professor concluded with saying that of all the children she worked with--all kinds of children from all kinds of backgrounds in New York--he was the only one that left her feeling compelled to surrender her optimistic outlook.  She told us that when it came to Mike Tyson, reform would most likely never happen.  I remember sitting there, completely engrossed in her lesson that day.  I drove home with the story stuck in my head.  And here I am, sixteen years later, remembering the conversation that day.  

As a teacher, I can tell you firsthand that we are taught to believe that every child has a chance to succeed.  Every child has a promising future, somehow, someway.  No matter how abused, damaged, or lost, teachers are the ones who reach out and try to be that one voice--that one helping hand--that changes life for the unfortunate, mistreated, and downtrodden.  I went forward in my secondary education and began my career keeping that story in the back of my mind.  So, when I saw Tyson on "The View" today, I was extremely interested in what he had to say.

When Nicole Wallace asked him about his life, if he feels it has "come full-circle"--his response seemed genuine.  Tyson said, "What I realize….when we entertain…it’s really hard to become mature at that time…it comes with getting to know who you are…becoming more mature."  And when Whoopi inquired about his sobriety, he said he was staying clean and sober, "Kickin butt right now...dark energy’s going to come knocking on the door…with all my training, hopefully I’m prepared… I’m very grateful."  I wasn't aware of Tyson's struggle with addiction, or alcoholism, but know that anyone who overcomes a challenge like that deserves great applause.  And a hug.  I definitely need to read his autobiography, so that the secondhand story I know can be replaced with firsthand Tyson's account.  He seemed friendly and kind.  And again, his presence seemed sincere and genuine.  

When asked about where he is at in life now, he said, "All my success comes from my failures...losing my daughter….having emotional quagmires with life in general…I’m just happy at this moment…I’m doing really well right now."  Tyson admitted his dark past, spoke of his scars, and walked off the stage of the set having done a great interview as far as I'm concerned.  He's hooked my interest and left me wanting to know more.  Tyson, or people who, like him, spent much of their early years in a dark place, can walk through this world with a sense of pride knowing that they came far.  To step into a world of fame, success, and prestige is impressive, but to do so when you've risen out of poverty, abuse, or adversity trumps those who simply had opportunities handed to them.

I'm glad that "The View" had him on the show.  I'm starting to see just how much I enjoy the show more and more with every episode I watch.  And as for Tyson, I would tell him to keep at it.  Life has a lot more still to offer him, although he's done a great job handling all that has been thrown at him thus far.

A Bit of Discussion on Religion & Defecting from the Catholic Church

The ladies discussed pop singer Ariana Grande's choices to both leave the Catholic Church and share the news with the public was done so due to her gay brother, according to the news.  Both Rosies admitted to no longer being part of the Catholic Church and added that they still believe in God.  Perez shared that one time someone asked if that meant she was atheist, which she denied because she still prays everyday at home.  This was the first religious discussion I have noticed since watching "The View" and must say, I hope to hear more.  Whoopi remarked that, if anything, she identifies as a Humanist and Nicole Wallace declined to comment, or rather didn't manage to squeeze a word in to the conversation.

Up until today, I was under the impression that all four co-hosts were religious, because of the constant remarks I've often heard, along the lines of "Oh Dear God" and "Bless his heart."  I, too, am a "recovering Catholic" as O'Donnell said of herself, so hearing why O'Donnell left the church was interesting to me.  I have two children, neither of whom were ever christened in the church, like O'Donnell.  Catholics used to be able to write in to defect (leave) from the Church (check out this form here for an example), however today that apparently is no longer necessary.  Too bad that this means that former Catholics' numbers forever remain included in the headcount of members.  Nothing like appearing more popular than thou really are.

Like Whoopi, I too consider myself a Humanist, and proudly so.  I joined a new friend in starting up a local chapter of the American Humanist Association and gladly hold the seat of vice president. I promote the practice of "doing good without God" and would rather see atheists like myself, or agnostics, strive towards a more progressive outlook.  I'm not saying religiosity has never left me feeling compelled to post a humorous meme or two, or peppered-up comment, online.  Oh, I have had my fair share of frustration.  But, I am really trying to take the path a progressive atheist would.  Continue speaking my mind in favor of secularism, however doing so without coming across as aggressive.  I want others to value my point of view and hear me out, instead of ignoring another rant and responding with anger.

The Unfortunate Role of Image in Today's Public & Political Spheres

Two words: Renee Zellweger.  Something tells me I need not elaborate any further. 

Today on "The View," Rosie Perez had a few thoughtful things to say on women and looks.  She candidly remarked that plastic surgery is like the "new mascara," which I couldn't agree more with.  Although women donning make-up, jewels, and nicely coiffed hair has been both typical and traditional in many societies and cultures around the world since the times of Ancient Egypt, plastic surgery has taken fashion and design to a whole new level.  If one has the money (thousands of dollars) for collagen injections, nip'n'tuck, or in the case of some Asian countries, even reconstructive leg-bone surgery (to add height), then one can undergo the procedure and change one's appearance.  Not for medical necessity, nor even to transform one's appearance from one gender to the other (which makes sense, as does name change, for that type of personal choice of transformation), women--and in some cases, men--prefer to alter and correct their aging flaws.  Wrinkles, thinning hair, and arm and thigh flab can all be "transformed."  Perez also remarked that being mean, as in the case of the media's response last night regarding Zellweger, doesn't help.  I think in many cases, plastic surgery leaves enough change to be noticed as is.

Whoopi then redirected the conversation to midterm elections.  And I thought to myself...what a great segue.  Because I have often thought, and remarked to my husband on occasion, that it would be great if in the political sphere, such as at election-time, if we didn't get thrown the name and photo of the candidates.  Just list them as candidates A, B, C, and D, including their political party affiliation?  Wouldn't it be better, I wonder, if we were just given their positions on issues, an evaluation of their ethics and values, and perhaps background information.  But, maybe not even that, for is a candidate's religion, marital status, and drink of choice really necessary to know when it comes to running for public or governmental office?  I mean, sure, I'm atheist, so the last thing I would want to do is cast my vote for a candidate who is uber-religious and one who will pass through faith-based initiatives.  But, where do we, the public, draw the line?  Where do we stand on issues like age, appearance, and physical presence?  Is Chris Christie doomed for no reason other than his weight?  Should James Woods, the blind atheist in Arizona who is running or U.S. Congress just give up because he posseses attributes that may not be the norm? 

I thought Perez's comments today were well-considered.  I agree with her when she said today that men do not receive the same criticism as women do when it comes to looks (my interpretation of her words).  Richard Gere was grey at a much younger age than most and he was applauded for it.  Marlon Brando's furrowed brow was both signs of austerity and a trademark of his image.  And despite age, Steven Tyler and Keith Richards both get attention still as they row old, as well.  But, women--rather than celebrate our age, many of us get depressed at another birthday, another grey hair, another wrinkle.  I know I do, with my recent 38th birthday coming and going as proof.  The only time I find wrinkles adorable are on Shar-Peis.

Yes, Ms. Rosie Perez said it perfectly.  The new mascara.  But, perhaps a trend frequented by those with the money, leaving the rest of us to pick up the good ol' Maybelline at Rite Aid and trudge on with a well-curled, blackened bat of an eye.

Oscar Pistorius & Violence Against Women

Today "The View" opened with the news of the sentencing of Oscar Pistorius,  which happened earlier today in a courtroom in South Africa. Pistorius was found guilty of voluntary manslaughter and sentenced to five years in prison. However, he won't be held in a typical prison cell, for a few reasons, and he could be released and placed on house arrest anytime after 10 months served.

Nicole Wallace said it perfectly when she commented that "...it sure feels like a lot of men get away with murdering their girlfriends and wives in cold blood." Very true and unfortunate.

Although I'm not a true fan of crime t.v. like Rosie Perez claimed she is, I've kept a close eye on news and blotters of my local law enforcement agencies and majority of cases settled in court result in a plea deal. I recall one case wherein a man ran his ex-girlfriend over with a vehicle in her own driveway, resulting in permanent injury---she had several operations on her legs and last I knew, was faced with having to consider amputation--and he was sentenced to just six months in jail (which could be reduced down to four months for good behavior) followed by five months of probation. Stalking, property damage, choking/strangulation...either the right lawyer or the wrong judge, can result in a perpetrator walking away from the judicial system and into the prison system with too light a penalty, so long as the victim wasn't murdered. Yet, in Pistorius' case, murder took place and a life was taken, yet his sentence isn't for life. He'll be released before we know it.

As Domestic Violence Awareness month winds down, I ask everyone to consider the levels of fear and injustice victims experience, regardless of gender, race, age, and sexual orientation. And petition for necessary changes our society needs to have happen, so that justice is truly served.

Excavators, Princess Conventions, & Sexism, OH MY!

Okay, so I wanted to include an image of an excavator, but when I googled "girl toy excavator," the results were slim, which slightly depressed me.  Then, I went to search for a photo of a woman on an excavator, I got a rather naughty result.  So, unfortunately due to sexism, I cannot include a photo of a girl playing with a toy excavator or a woman operating one.  But, if that five-minute experience illustrated anything to me, it's that this is a well-deserved blog post!

At the start of today's show, the ladies were going around the table (a new, nice one, by the way, as their set got quite the remodel since Friday) sharing a bit about what they did over the weekend.  Rosie O'Donnell went to the movies with son "as usual" and saw the new Brad Pitt movie Fury, which is set in World War II-era.  Rosie Perez was filming in Maine and doing her best to keep up on a boxing match despite her busy weekend schedule (I sent her a tweet, which she retweeted--made me feel almost famous for a split second).  And then came Nicole Wallace, who shared that she spent the weekend at home with husband and son while an excavator worked a bit on her property.  She explained how her two-and-a-half-year-old son, who loves excavators, was so excited and had to watch as work got done outside.  She went on about how this consumed her weekend and then said that she commented to her husband: "...if we had a girl, you'd be at a princess convention..." and husband replied "I know, but we had a boy!" Then, O'Donnell interjected and said "...You'd be at the princess convention, he'd be home watching the game..."

[Sigh]  Where do I begin?  First and foremost, I must disclose that I am the parent of a perfectly healthy nine-year-old boy who happens to be gender-fluid.  Yes, I know...some might be thinking "Huh?" and google away.  To put it in my own terms, this simply means that my son has for the past several years identified with both male and female characteristics and interests.  Barbies, pink shirts, and wands can be found strewn around in his room, but also books on presidents, Matchbox cars, and Skeletor's Castle Grayskull (blast from the past, it's an original from the early 80s) also belong to him.

Now, on to the exchange between Wallace and O'Donnell... I found so many thins wrong with this conversation.  Beginning with Wallace's initial comments, there is nothing wrong with how she spend her weekend or the events that kept her, her husband, and their son busy.  But, as I watched the segment, a photo was shared of her and her little boy in the excavator smiling.  Donning a blue coat, holding a blue sippy cup next to a blue hand-held tablet device.  Blue, blue, blue.  Yes, Wallace can dress her little boy in whatever she likes, for regardless of what he wears, he will be adorable nonetheless.  But, I am "one of those people" who cannot stand seeing boys' wardrobes and belongings all in blue and girls' all in pink.  I have two sons, one is nine as aforementioned and the other is four-months-old, and the younger of the two rarely sports blue.  I prefer yellows, greens, and even purple (when I can find it) for him.  This habit Americans have (and maybe it's not just a habit confined to us here) of pushing blue at boys and pink at girls has to stop.  A lot of toys on shelves at toy stores are becoming more and more gender-neutral, as are clothes.  But, some toys are produced in blue and grey, and then pink and purple.  Toy lawnmowers and vacuums, for example.  As if color matters. Moving back to "The View," it bothered me that Wallace nonchalantly stereotyped little girls as the only ones interested in princess conventions.  Now, I love Nicole Wallace, even if we do have interest in opposing political parties.  As a viewer of the show, I find her intelligent, capable of great success and contribution, and fun-loving.  But, this single comment made has left me bummed.  My nine-year-old-boy has loved Disney princesses since he was a three-year-old.  Much of the play-time of his childhood has been spent playing dress-up with gowns and wigs, and drawing gowns and outfits because he dreams of being a fashion designer.  By saying what she said, in my mind, Wallace is not that aware of the importance and necessity of the movement in our society from gender-confined roles and norms to a greater sense of...fluidity.

And Rosie's remark back to Wallace simply generalizes most men as sports-minded rather than child-centered.  I was glad when Wallace told O'Donnell that she was wrong, that her husband would have been by the child's side in that scenario.  But, that doesn't make O'Donnell's comment any less appealing to me.
I understand that some men, when in relationships with some women, may put sports before her needs or wants.  I've been there.  Just like I understand that some boys, possibly more often than not, like watching an excavator dig up the earth outdoors instead of Sofia the First on Disney Junior channel.  However, I would expect O'Donnell, being who she is, to be a bit more considerate with her words.

I am not trying to be nitpicky--obviously I like "The View" and the cast members on it for not only do I watch it, but I blog about it, too--but this short conversation on today's show led me to a great opportunity to express what I think.  That if we continue to push these old-school stereotypes and generalizations, and continue to promote a strict gender-based agenda, society will suffer rather than advance.  Especially with the Transgender movement trudging forward, thanks to LGBT efforts.  Today women can do anything men can do and I hope that before I die, I will see the blues and pinks fade, or at least cross over.  And perhaps female referees become as commonplace as male fashion designers have become.  And I bet on it that I will see the first female compete with and against men in a pro sport, aside from Danica Patrick in NASCAR, for example.

My Take On Today's "The View" and John Grisham's "child-porn" comments

Guest Appearances

I enjoyed seeing Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane (who always reminds me of the movie The Birdcage, which I still have yet to watch despite always wanting to do so) on today's show, discussing their roles in the new Broadway play called It's Only a Play. 

 What I Loved

There were two moments on today's show that I just loved: 
1) Rosie O'Donnell said something that really resonated with me, "...you don't need to airbrush away the truth for us anymore, we can handle the reality..."  I need not provide the context in which she sad this, for the comment by itself is pretty powerful.  After stopping to take a minute to consider her remark, I thought about how, in history, we've come such a long way.  There was a time in our American past, where we, the people, were kept from being presented the reality of things.  Both the media and political figures have a history of lying to us. A newspaper story in 1898 that wrongly reported about the explosion of the ship U.S.S. Maine and the impact the airbrushing of truth had on war against Spain.  One of our presidents delivering a lie to us regarding WPD in Iraq.  Oh, how the airbrushing away of truth has certainly dusted over reality.  But, now...today...we can handle the reality.  This epiphany then led me to consider the evolution of reality shows.  We can not only handle reality, we can't get enough of it.  Raw.  Real.  Potent.  We thirst for the reality of things.  Have you ever wanted to know the reality of something so bad, regardless of how much it would inevitably hurt you?  That, my friends, is the hunt for something real.  No airbrushing away of anything anymore.  And that is undoubtedly bittersweet.  One quick comment made by Rosie, but one that delivered a flood of meaning to me.  I wonder--can I be the only one that experienced that "click"?

2)  Whoopi and Nicole were seated with a two guests, one of whom was the mother of a child who had a past medical history of uncontrollable, constant seizures.  But, the topic wasn't about this unfortunate medical condition...it was about Charlotte's Web hemp oil and the positive effect it has had on this mother's child.  Eliminating the seizures, to be exact.  Whoopi facilitated discussion for the most part and passionately remarked on how state legislatures, unlike Colorado's, prevent natural remedies like this (with low levels of THC) from being available to aid and possibly cure medical conditions, such as seizures that destroy children.  Another woman, who I consider brave, was seated in the audience and shared a similar story about her child seizing.  She, however, was not able to administer the hemp oil to her child, therefore allowing the condition to worsen.  She provided video footage of her child, whose health was deteriorating.  It brought tears to my eyes.  And then Whoopi stridently argued that something must be done to see that laws change, so that the other 49 states can join Colorado and help preserve the health and futures of more children.

 What I Didn't Like

News about John Grisham, the well-known lawyer and author, was delivered via a testimony (for lack of a better term) on video.  The topic: incarceration as consequence for possessing child pornography.  The critic: Rosie O'Donnell.  Now, before I share my interpretation of what she said and why I didn't care for her position, check out Grisham's interview here:

Click Here for Video: John Grisham Interview with The Telegraph, by Dermot Tatlow and Myles Burke

Now, Rosie remarked (my words, not hers) that he was acting as a champion for sexual predators and that his computer should be searched by the police.  I am not sure her words were just right, or very well-prepared.  
I rewatched Grisham's interview and although I agree with the majority opinion that sexual predators are bad news and keeping them away from children is absolutely in favor of the best interests of children, I do not agree that he should have been criticized as heavily as he was.  He made a couple good points, in my opinion.  Fact: our judicial and penal systems are in need of some clean-up.  Fact: many pedophiles realize at a young age, puberty or perhaps prepubescent, that they are the "animal within" who feels the urge to prey on young children.  But, let's say you have the following scenario, as Grisham said, where a man has had too much to drink and goes online surfing the web.  Let's say that man stumbles, in a drunken stupor, on naked photos of a female.  Let's say that female is 16 years old.  Is there a difference between the criminality of that scenario and let's say one in which a man goes online all hours of the day sober, seeking and searching for photos of 5 year old girls?  I think anyone would say there is indeed a difference.  I am not saying that doesn't make scenario A just and proper.  I am just saying there is a difference.  Grisham said in the interview that he has no sympathy for "real" pedophiles, who should indeed be locked up.  My position, which doesn't exactly align with Rosie's, is that the cases should be viewed differently and result in various penalties depending on the circumstances of the crimes.  I am not saying the man in Grisham's scenario is innocent.  But, in this day and age of modern technology and cyber-exchange of information and images, laws need be relevant and just.  And most importantly, when it comes to children and technology, parents and guardians need be more concerned and with-it. Parents innocently posting photos of their babies in bath tubs or daughters in short shorts, or in their bikinis on the beach, are certainly contributing to the sea of images that float in cyber space.  A sea that can instantly serve as a sexual predator's cesspool.

 Wrap-Up

I really enjoyed today's show.  Obviously.  It inspired me to create a blog all about "The View" wherein I rehash each day's show and highlight the good and bad.  Please take a moment and comment below.  Give me your thoughts.  One can never get enough feedback!